Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Needy

We've been married four months. Sometimes I'm amazed that it's only been four months....it feels like we've been married forever!! I can't sleep if he's not there, and I know that's not supposed to develop until you've been married at least 25 years. At the same time, I can't believe it's only been four months! It seems like it was just yesterday that I woke up at 5am wide awake and simply could not go back to sleep because I was too excited to marry the man of my dreams that afternoon. It's crazy how incredible marriage is. I'm completely convinced that my husband is the very best husband and the absolute most amazing person in the universe not to mention the most handsome, smartest, funniest, etc. :) And there is no one who will succeed in changing my mind about that. It's also crazy how hard marriage is. I know I've only been married 4 months, so what do I really know about anything, but the hardest lesson for me to learn so far is that we need each other, and it's okay. I never wanted to need anyone. I wanted to do it on my own and figure it out on my own. That way, if I failed, or if someone failed me, they wouldn't have enough power over me for it to hurt. It didn't take me long, however, to realize that God clearly made marriage to show us that we're supposed to need each other for the direct purpose of learning that, really, we just need God. It's scary needing someone and knowing that they need you, too. Needing people can result in a lot of hurt. That's where needing God comes in. No matter what people do, God is always perfectly there. We need Him. We can't do it without Him. And, for me, He's using how much I need my husband's love and attention and presence and just my husband in general to teach me how much more I need Him.

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