Thursday, January 7, 2010

On Growing Up

I was thinking last night about growing up and this whole staying where you’re safe and comfortable versus going out into the unknown, and I realized all over again how easy it would be to just stay. I’ll even admit that, for a moment at least, I wished I could, not only stay, but also go back to when things were easy—to when leaving was just a dream, and it felt like I’d be “stuck” here forever. I’m not saying that I was wishing for the chance to go back to when I was so little that my Daddy’s vests dragged the ground when I put them on; I was only wanting to go back to when I knew, more or less, what the day would bring. Back to when I knew that, if my alarm didn’t go off in the morning, Mum would come to the bottom of the stairs and wake me up. And when I could count on my windshield being clear of ice because Daddy is just thoughtful like that (this is a big deal! Do you have any idea how many times I’ve flirted with being late for clinicals because I almost forgot about the whole windshield-clearing step?). When Sunday mornings would find me and many of my favorite people in the whole world in a small country church’s sanctuary filled with folks who have long been more like family than anything else. I wouldn’t even have minded going back less far than that—back to a dorm-full of friends and Sunday game nights followed by Celebration when my big stressors were NPAs and Adult Health exams.

And, now, here I am staring nearly 4 months in Central America right in the face. And, after that, the uncertainty of being a newly graduated nurse whom no one wants to hire because I don't have a year of experience yet. I made a decision, though: I decided to look at this as an adventure because that's what life is supposed to be. I'm glad I don't know what's coming; I'm glad it's a mystery, and I'm not going to be scared--at least, not toooo scared. No, I'm going to be excited and go at every day with enthusiasm, chasing the dreams God has put into my heart because I know that, no matter how far away from Daddy, Mum, brothers, and sisters all of this may take me, the Lord is already there. He's gone before me making a path; He's walking beside me showing me the way; when I fall down, He'll be right there to help me up, dust me off, and put a band-aid on my scraped knees.

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