The power of the mind has always fascinated me; this has been especially true since nursing school. The fact that sometimes medicines "work" because we are completely convinced they're working is incredible to me. On the flip-side, the fact that we can convince ourselves that we are sick and in pain when the results of every test say we aren't is astounding. That's power! But sometimes it's not good power. This was reiterated to me last week.
I have been praying for guidance and wisdom for the last several months, knowing what I want but not wanting to just run ahead of my Leader and do my own thing. And, in the midst of these prayers, I've found peace. My Father has told me exactly everything I need to know for right now; He has reassured me of things to come; and, above all, He has reminded me that He knows His plans for me and that His plans are to prosper me...to give me hope and a future. But, within a few hours of finding this peace and being reminded of God's faithfulness in keeping promises, my mind would kick in and start analyzing everything again...totally independently of my heart, where the peace was residing, thus shattering the peace and leaving me feeling a bit lost and confused again. And the thing is, I'd be so wrapped up in wondering "WHAT DO I DO?!?!" that I didn't even notice the progression of how I got from peace to panic (ok, not literally panic) so suddenly. Until this weekend when a friend of mine pointed out that, while my heart had peace, my mind was generating confusion. We can't generate our own peace, but we can destroy the peace we've been given. So, now it's my job to choose the peace and to trust and follow the Peace-giver. And maybe try to not let my analytical mind take over quite so much.... That's a little scary sounding...and THAT'S a whole different topic.