Mexico and Moments

So, I´d be lying if I said that I was excited to leave Guatemala and come to Mexico. I´d be lying if I said that I had a great attitude about it and immediately fell in love with Mexico like I did with Guatemala. I´d be lying if I said that I never held the wealth of this community against them. But, I´d also be lying if I said that I haven´t grown from this experience and learned some important things.

It really hurt to leave Guatemala, and, for a while, I felt as if a huge part of my heart was still there. Have you ever felt as if part of your heart was somewhere else? Not fun. But last night, Mexico and I had a moment. My brother and I went for a run yesterday evening, and the sun was setting over the snow-capped mountains and volcanoes that surround this city; it was beautiful, and God and I had a nice little conversation while I was running. After running the track for a while, we left to go back home stopping on the way to run up the 200-ish steps to one of the 365 (literally) churches. It was pretty hard, but the view at the top was awesome. The whole city was stretched out in front of us with the aforementioned snow-capped beauties standing sentinal and the sky a rosy-pink-turned-brilliant-orange overhead. In those moments (when I thought I was maybe dying), I fell a little bit in love with Mexico. Not the way I did with Guatemala--a different kind of love, but, regardless, God took a wrecking ball to the walls I´d put up agains Mexico.

Another thought from today: first of all, Lent in a predominantly Catholic country is very loud. Every Thursday and Friday around 6am people begin setting off bomb-sized fireworks in our street, and the Church bells (remember, there are 365 Churches here) start going crazy. This morning, as I was lying in bed being very ethnocentric in my thoughts of, "Lent in the US is so much quieter!" I put in my ipod. One of the songs that played was "For The Moments I Feel Faint," and the line that really stood out to me this morning says, "so I take my insufficiencies and place them in Your hands." I had to marvel again about a perfect God Who would want my insufficiencies. But He does! He uses my weaknesses for His strength, and that´s a good thought for me as I apply for and pray about service terms for next year.

Saying Goodbye, Moving On, And All That Jazz

So, I´m in Mexico now. Saying goodbye to Guatemala was ridiculously hard, especially after last week. I learned a lot about a lot of things during my week of service. For example, I learned what generosity really is. On Sunday, we hiked to a small aldea in the middle of the jungle for church. While there, we visited with a family of 9 people who lives in a one-room, dirt-floor house and still fed us breakfast and lunch. There were 7 of us total, so this family who had nearly nothing gave us 14 meals in total. After returning to the town that was home for the week, I moved in with my Qéqchi family. I had 4 brothers (only 3 were there, though, as one lives in another town that is rather far away), 1 sister, a mom and a dad, a sister-in-law, and a nephew, and though they had little more than the family from Sunday, they offered us just as much. They fed and housed us for a week and, within five minutes of our arriving, they were begging us to come back and stay for "Un mes! No 2 meses! No 3! No! Un año!" Thursday night, my brother gave me the gift of a beautiful bag and was delighted if a little confused by how excited I was over it. There are millions of stories that I could tell from this week and of this family, and, if you asked me for them, I wouldn´t even know where to begin, though I´d be delighted to give it an all-star effort. But, I can tell you that I miss this family so much I could cry right now...and have felt this way since we left Saturday. Sorry, I´m rambling. What my initial point was, what{s wrong with us that we so often have so much and give so little when people who have so little willingly and lovingly give us so much? Profe challenged us on Sunday before we left for Mexico to still be open to joinging and seeing God in our Mexican families. Background: my family here in Mexico is better off financially than my family in the States. It´s very hard to go from cold bucket baths and dirt floors with mice (but bastante love and welcoming! Even though I was only there for a week, I really felt a part of my Qéqchi family--my brothers called me sister, asked me to send them pictures of my graduation in May, and told me that I have to come back and spend every summer break with my family in Guatemala) to hot showers and my own room and not wonder what´s wront with the world. But, I´m not one to let a challenge go unmet, so it´s time to take a deep breath and dive in again. Are you ready for this, Mexico? :)

Speaking of being ready, one other challenge that I´ve encountered is processing things. I have so many thoughts and questions running around in my head and no time to process them! Profe calls it "letting your soul catch up with you," and I have no idea when I´m going to do this! Without having time to process Guatemala, I´ve moved on to Mexico. And, by the time we get home, I will have twice as much to process and still no time because May will bring with it hard-core NCLEX prep. Así es la vida, supongo! More adventures to come! :)

Bandaid

I only have a minute before I go devour some bread-what-whats, but I wanted to put up two songs. They've both kind of become theme songs for my life.

Dirty, Audio Adrenaline

Tired of being clean, sick of being proper
I wanna live among the beggars
And dig out in the dirt
Step outside the walls we built to protect us
Don't be afraid to get some mud on your face

Come on, come on everybody
Come on, come on and serve someone


Let's get dirty, let's get used
No matter where you come from
If you're beaten up or bruised
Let's get foolish - let's get free
Free to be the one thing you were meant to be
Let's get dirty

You might get a bruise or some blisters on your fingers
You might start a question and wonder what it's worth
You may slip and fall from the burdens that you carry
But you can't have this treasure
'til you dig it from the dirt

Que Seas Mi Universo, Jesus Adrian Romero

Que seas mi universo
No quiero darte solo un rato de mi tiempo
No quiero separarte un día solamente
Que seas mi universo
No quiero darte mis palabras como gotas
Quiero un diluvio de alabanzas en mi boca
Que seas mi universo
Que seas todo lo que siento y lo que pienso
Que seas el primer aliento en la mañana
Y la luz en mi ventana
Que seas mi universo
Que llenes cada uno de mis pensamientos
Que tu presencia y tu poder sean mi alimento
Oh Jesús es mi deseo... Que seas mi universo
No quiero darte solo parte de mis años
Te quiero dueño de mi tiempo y de mi espacio
Que seas mi universo
No quiero hacer mi voluntad, quiero agradarte
Y cada sueño que hay en mi quiero entregarte
Que seas mi universo
Que seas todo lo que siento y lo que pienso
Que seas el primer aliento en la mañana
Y la luz en mi ventana
Que seas mi universo
Que llenes cada uno de mis pensamientos
Que tu presencia y tu poder sean mi alimento
Oh Jesús es mi deseo... Que seas mi universo..
Que seas mi universo...